If you’ve lost a loved one, you know the most precious thing we have of them are our memories.
Three years ago, my best friend tragically lost her mom to cancer… after just losing her father to cancer two years prior. Our families vacationed together, spent most weekends together, and I believe spent as much time at her house as I did my own (her poor, poor parents). They were so ingrained in our every day lives; none of us were prepared for cancer to sneak in and take these perfectly healthy and amazingly active individuals in their early 60’s with so very little notice. I watched as everyone I was closest to lost a piece of themselves, and struggled to find their way along without them.
It was a loss that has shaped me in more ways that I can put into words; one of which, is the way I approach social media.
If you’ve lost a loved one, you know the most precious thing we have of them are our memories. Every picture, every birthday card, and every voicemail all of a sudden become little treasures that give life to a new memory. One of the most cherished gifts that my best friend’s mom left behind was her Facebook page. Her children, grandchildren and friends all still use her Facebook page as a way to feel connected to her. It wasn’t that she posted incredibly insightful posts… but when she took the time to share, it was always positive. I’m glad she chose to use Facebook in that way, because it now serves as a beautiful testament to who she was, and reminds us of all of her best qualities.
There’s a beauty in social media, and the opportunity it offers each of us to create a lasting personal legacy that can be seen by generations to come (…so don’t waste it).
The things we post today can potentially be seen by our great-grandchildren. We have the opportunity to build them up, or to offer them a skeptical and pessimistic view of the world around them. We have the opportunity to make them smile, or make them realize they’re just the latest generation in a long line of quacks (< or sometimes both) 🙂
On behalf of your future children, your children’s children and so on, I beg of you… think before you post. Before you go on your rant or start using the internet to add even more negativity into a virtual world that’s already saturated in negativity… ask yourself a few questions:
1. What emotional state am I in right now?
Are you angry? Upset? Drunk? (< PSA: Don’t drink & post) 🙂 Just close out of the browser, because nothing good will come from this.
2. What purpose does this serve?
Social media is about connecting with others… sometimes I think we get that backwards and use it to distance ourselves from others. If you’re about to post something that isn’t for the purpose of connecting with others, you’re doing it wrong.
3. Does this represent the best version of myself?
I’m not saying that we always have to be smiling happy-go-lucky rays of sunshine. I’m not saying we should be fake, either. What I am saying is that we need to be true to ourselves, and who we want to be. Sure, my great-grandkids may look at my profile someday and see that I was a Texas wine-o who cries at the drop of a hat and has a awful LOT of blonde moments… but hey, that’s me. I hope they’ll see it’s OK to be imperfect, and embracing that will make you a lot happier than faking perfection ever will.
4. Will this hurt others?
I have been very deeply hurt before by someone I really cared about who shared a controversial post on social media. They couldn’t have known that it would upset me, and I know if they did they wouldn’t have shared it. None-the-less, it was posted and I immediately felt like I was being viewed by them as less of a person after reading it.
Yes, we all have opinions. Sure, it’s great to be an advocate for the things we believe in. Absolutely, we want to share information that we’re excited about. However, you have some really awesome friends and family in your life that happen to be connected with you on social media… and they have walked in different shoes than you, which is why some see the world through a different lens. Your job is not to change their lens, and even if it were, you aren’t going to accomplish that by pushing them away through ridiculous political memes that oversimplify complicated issues. Which brings me to my next question…
5. Is this even true?
People, snopes.com is your friend, and it is here to save you from looking like a fool online. I’m really sorry to have to break it to you… but Jennifer Anniston did not make an angry curse-filled statement about the Brangelina divorce. No, Mark Zuckerberg did not vow to remove Trump from Facebook for 500k likes. Also, you will be GLAD to know that this video of a spider bursting out of an overripe banana was completely animated by some kid who inadvertently scarred me from peeling bananas. It’s not real… but it still scares me. And if I’m going down… you’re all going down.
That’s all I’ve got, blondies! Next time you see a soapbox and want to step on it, maybe think of this and walk on by. You’re children will thank you. 🙂